"I don't forgive you because you've forgiven me, I forgive you because Christ's forgiven me."
Those words were spoken at the end of a heavy conversation between me and my best friend today.
I felt there weight when they were spoken.
Those words hold a powerful truth,
I in myself do not have an ounce of grace to extend. My heart cries out for justice,
I want payment, I want revenge, I want resolve. In my heart I want closure, I want what I deserve to get. Grace is surrendering all that and offering out love instead of anger, love instead of bitterness, love instead of hatred, love instead of violence.
My heart is incapable of grace on its own,
It is an depleted storage of love when it's not being filled up by another. So how could I love on my own when I do not receive love from another. I simply can't give what I'm not receiving. But the joy is that although I'm not receiving love from a horizontal source I can receive it from a vertical one.
With God as my source, my love storage is no longer depleted but at capacity. With the love of others it overflows, but when that love ceases to flow, I know that I remain satisfied in the love I know through Christ.
It is then that I can expend grace.
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